This section will help you understand why your brothers and sisters act the way they do and can answer some of those questions about what has been happening to them when you were sick in hospital. Much like parents, you love your brothers and sisters very much but they can drive you mad too!

It might help to read this section with a support worker or a parent so that they can explain things you aren’t sure of. Nurse Anna has more information at the bottom of this page.

Getting sick – the effect on my brothers and sisters

The truth is, your brothers and sisters' lives would have been turned upside down for all sorts of reasons. This is no-ones fault, this is just the reality. Any dramatic event in a family such as someone in the family getting sick or a relative dying can have a huge impact on the family.

It’s hard to say for certain what your brothers and sisters were told about your accident or operation. It may be worth talking to parents to see what your brothers and sisters know.  Below are some emotions commonly felt in families after an ABI:

Brothers and sisters worrying about you

Brothers and sisters also worry a lot. It can be really hard being a child and teenager because sometimes you feel that people aren’t telling you things because they don’t want to upset you. Your brothers and sisters would have been very worried about you when you were in hospital.

Brothers and sisters feeling confused

Sometimes your parents can’t explain what is happening to you and your brothers and sisters get very confused about what is happening.

Brothers and sisters worrying that they did something that made you sick

Some children blame themselves when someone gets sick or has an accident. This this can be very upsetting for them. It may sound strange, but sometimes, brothers and sisters can wish that they got sick and some feel guilty because it was you that got hurt and not them.

Brothers and sisters not seeing your parents

Sometimes, brothers and sisters can feel left out because they didn't get to see your Mum or Dad when they were looking after you in hospital. Sometimes they may have to go away and live with a relative for a while and this can be really upsetting.

My brothers and sisters act funny towards me

You might notice that your brothers an sisters have changed. You don’t know how, you just know that they are different.

My brothers and sisters have got all grown up

Big stress in any family has all sorts of knock on effects. Maybe your brothers and sisters seem all grown up and you don’t like it.

My brothers and sisters blame me for what has happened

Sometimes, your brothers and sisters can feel a bit left out or neglected too. This means that they don’t feel that your parents have any time for them or perhaps they feel that they can’t talk to your parents anymore because they are so preoccupied with making sure you are alright.

My parents are arguing and my brothers and sisters blame me

Sometimes, our brothers and sisters can associate everything bad in life with you getting sick. This can be really upsetting. It’s best to talk to your parents about this as they will be able to talk to your brothers and sisters and tell them what is really happening. Any big stress can cause parents to argue.

My brothers and sisters seem angry with me

Anger is a very common emotion for everyone to feel at times of stress. Maybe life was good before your accident and everyone at home was happy. Since the accident maybe things aren’t so good. This really is no-ones fault, its just acknowledging our anger and understanding why we feel the way we do.

My brothers and sisters say some really nasty things!

If things are really emotional it is not uncommon for brothers and sisters to come out with some really hurtful and strange things. Try not to take it personally or take it to heart. They probably don’t mean to upset you, its just their way of trying to get across how sad they feel about things.

What can I do now?

You will spend a long time adjusting to life with your brain injury and so will your brothers and sisters. It can seem dark for you all at the moment but things will improve. Talk to your brothers and sisters with your parents. 

Also your parents can have a look through the contacts section of this site and get in touch with some of the organisations to see is they run support groups and activities for siblings (brothers and sisters).